Catsdad,
I guess the distances some of us are willing to travel for a game of hockey amazes us too at times. But when you live in a city where the nearest boys travel team is 175 miles away, and some of the teams in your boys travel league are over 500 miles away, and your district is over 1300 miles from end to end you kinda get used to driving long distances.
The girls teams in Texas, Colorado, and California all have to fly to play girls opponents, so I consider myself lucky.
From your comments, you are looking quite a ways down the road when talking about college scouting if your daughter is playing u14. Yes, college scouts look at girls that age, but generally only the top 1 or 2 players from a handful of the top teams. And from what I understand, they are taking notes to track development over time. Many players peak early, so the top u14 goalie in the country in 9th grade may only barely make the top 20 by the time she moves to u19 hockey for her senior year.
I don't think there is a one-size-fits all solution to getting "seen" by the right college coaches. Coaches look at in all the regular places (Polar Bear, Nationals, Toronto Prospects, several prep tournaments, etc), but since everybody is looking there at a limited talent pool, they also tend to go to very unusual places to look at 1 single girl they heard about through a network of people such as former players, former coaching assistants, etc. Heck, even prep schools do this kind of recruiting. If your daughter is doing well in a big hockey part of the country, they WILL find you if you are good enough.
The most important job you have as a parent is to put her on a team where your daughter can develop at the best rate. Putting her on a team where the skill level and rate of progress is similar (and of course the coaches teach the game not just skate 'em hard) to your daughter's it the optimum solution. Some girls can be put on a team where they are a weaker player and will respond by picking up their progress, others cannot. This is very dependent on the drive your girl has.
Give you an example from my daughter, a '92 goalie. The last 2 years, as a sideline, she has filled in on a couple of girls u16/u19 developmental teams in a league along the Ohio River when not playing Boys travel or Girls national bound. She didn't play there as a goalie, because there wasn't growth potential there and you don't improve your game by playing beneath the skill level you are used to playing at. She played as a skater (all 5 other positions at various times). She hadn't played as a skater in 2 years before this, so it was challenging to her the first year. She quickly got her hands about her, and because she was probably the fastest skater and most experienced player in the league (even at age 11 in her first year) she became a dominant player in the league, ending this last season as the top scorer on the championship team. She will probably play less there in the future as there is little benefit gained by the top players in any league, but for the last 2 years, it has helped her (believe it or not) as a goalie just thinking like a skater and applying what she has seen played against her.
It also benefitted her Heartland u12 national bound team this season, when they were short benched, she had to fill in as both a defenseman and winger and did an excellent job at both. Will she ever play competitivly as a skater? Probably not as she is more valuable as a goalie. But the example of working your way through one level of talent and moving on is an important one. You play some places for loyalty because it will achieve a long term goal. You play others because they serve a shorter term objective. Look at where your daughter plays and evaluate it every season. Is she playing in a place she can grow long term because the players are growing at about the same rate, or is this a place you are quickly growing out of (or worse yet have you grown out of it already or is it stunting your daughter's growth?)
Been there, done that. Went somewhere else and did it again.
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