1. there is no local team and you would need to commute?
2. the nearest girls team is weaker than a local boys team?
3. your daughter is big and strong enough to play boys and the coaches still want her?
At some age should girls play girls no matter what? If you're reading this forum you've probably wrestled with this issue unless you're lucky enough to live near where there's a good girls team!!
Posts: 10 | Location: Indianapolis | Registered: February 13, 2005
1) there is no local team and you would need to commute? This is entirely a family issue. Not everyone is a road warrior. Taking the girl/boy thing out of this question, what does the player want out of hockey? Prep Hockey? College Hockey? Comeraderie? Championships? For girls, if you aren't living in the hockey hotbeds of MN, MI, or NE/NY, your daughter will not be seen playing boys hockey, so girls hockey is a necessity for playing college hockey, be it club or prep.
My daughter and I have been road warriors of the worst kind for the last 2 seasons playing both boys and girls simultaneously, with the last season having both teams out of state.
We've played girls for comeraderie and championships as well as prep school exposure. Had a lot of fun, been to Nationals the last 2 years, and will be playing prep hockey next season (maybe pre-post with a girls team too depending on couple of things).
We've played boys because it is good experience and it has been necessary to get local practice ice. She has fun, but not as much.
2) the nearest girls team is weaker than a local boys team? Because you are not playing with them. Yes, boys are bigger, faster, stronger at bantam and above. But is being a 3rd or 4th line player on a boys team better than being a 1st or 2nd line player on a girls team? This is a question boys have to face when deciding what level of team to try out for.
3) your daughter is big and strong enough to play boys and the coaches still want her? This is only a temporary thing. The coaches may want you during the summer, but will your daughter be riding the pine later in the season when it gets to championship time? Ultimately, all boys competitive teams look at girls as temporary fill ins until they find the boy they want to fill that slot, because 99% of girls will not have the physical attributes to play boys top level hockey at Midget level. I hear that even Amanda Kessel (Phil's little sister - who dominated at the girls National 14U camp last year) will be leaving boys hockey next season after finishing Bantam hockey.
And given a choice, coaches on competitive teams will almost always take the boy with the same skill level because they can keep him longer.
My daughter played boys out of state last season because all of the boys teams took goalies (my D's position) who they knew would be with them long term, taking goalies who had never beaten my daughter in a game (I'm talking like 0-8 against her, despite being a year older than her).
Point is that a girl might be wanted now, but that won't be true eventually. And it is more important to play where you are wanted than anything else for a player's happiness.
Been there, done that. Went somewhere else and did it again.
I don't know how old your daughter is or her physical build. I assume that your daughter plays in the Indianapolis Youth Hockey program or the Columbus Indiana program since you live in Indianapolis. I also assume that she is playing boys travel hockey rather than house hockey.
I, like you, have thought long and hard about the pros and cons of both choices and am very happy with my daughter's recent decision to play only girls hockey for the upcoming season. Last year she was a 14 year old Bantam who played for the local Boys Bantam A/AA team and also played for a Girls U-16AAA team that was fortunate enough to make the national tournament in Buffalo, NY. Generally speaking, if your daughter is good enough to compete with a local boys travel team and likes playing with boys, she should continue until Bantam age. At Bantam age, the boys generally surpass girls in size, strength, and overall speed (not always however). Playing hockey at a faster pace will prove beneficial for your daughter, however, I believe that skill development is generally hindered by the physical nature of boys hockey. Too many times I have seen girls who play with boys be far too quick to get rid of the puck rather than try to beat a man to set up someone else for fear of getting checked. Because of this, your daughter might be more apt to develop puck handling skills at a much faster pace and gain greater confidence in doing so by playing with girls rather than boys. This has been somewhat true with my daughter although the fact that she now plays forward with the girls rather than defense has contributed to her skill advancement in this area as well.
The choice is a tough one for sure. If your daughter wants to continue to play with boys through Bantam age (as my daughter did) and she can compete with them, then I would certainly allow her to do so. After Bantam age, the choice is very clear for me - Girls AA/AAA hockey is the way to go. Before last year, my daughter hated playing with the girls. Now, she loves it and thankfully so. The threat of injury is far too great competing at the Midget Boys A/AA level.
Good luck in whatever decision you and your daughter come to.
After a wonderfully successful season of 14u girls hockey my daughter played spring league and a state tournament on a boys Bantam team. She loved it and was reasonably successful, racking up a decent amount of points. Where she played D for the girls team she played mostly forward in the spring to give herself a change of pace. But, as a parent I could notice her quick passes to the point instead of skating the puck, and other actions that showed that she already had a healthy fear of being on the recieving end of a good check. She is big enough and skilled enough to take care of herself most of the time, but she did take some good shots that made her realize that she didn't want to be doing this forever. I made sure we stayed around and saw some midget and high school games that reinforced her decision.
My area of the country does have enough girls teams so that every skilled player doesn't end up at the Nationals. In fact, she has never played on a National bound team. The social benefit of playing on a girls team is the biggest factor. Too many girls are made to think that girls hockey is below them and keep playing boys hockey until they loose interest because, deep down, they really don't enjoy getting their breath taken away on the ice and the boys keep getting bigger and bigger.
You have gotten some great advice from the responses I have read....Take it and your daughter will have plenty of great hockey fun in the comming years!
Posts: 63 | Location: North New Jersey | Registered: July 10, 2004
This is a very interesting topic as my son (now bantam age) has not had a girl on his team yet, but has played against them as there is the occasional girl on a scattered amount of teams. The girls I have seen are really very talented, but the physical aspect makes me nervous.
I have to ask this question since most of this thread is in regards to the girl's feelings and safety...but how do the boys feel about the girls playing on their team when they get to Bantam and up? Is it difficult socially and on the ice for the boys?
I think it is wonderful that there are now some great girls teams and the opportunities for girls are much greater at the college level then ever before...just wondered how the boys handle it?
The boys on my daughter's teams (from my daughter's reports) don't seem to have a problem with her being there. Neither have many of the other girls I've talked to with their boy teammates.
Actually, as the guys get older, they think that the girls who play are very cool. Then they hear me loading my shotgun (just kidding).
Problems I've heard about with the boy players come as a result of the coach's attitude about the girl on the team. If the coach treats the girl any different than the boys, the boys pick up on it and negative things start happening. Some coaches subconciously don't ask as much of their female players (try to hide them from certain game situations), so the boys think that they are just end-of-the bench material.
The girls who choose to play boys hockey want to play by the same rules and earn the respect of their teammates, just like they guys. If everyone is treated as a hockey player first, then things usually go well.
Been there, done that. Went somewhere else and did it again.
I agree with Redwings Guy! If the coach treats the girl as any other player, the boys will usually have the same respect.
My daughter played a 4 game tournament a few weeks ago with a bunch of boys, nearly all of whom she had never met. I was happy to see several of them individually congradulate her on her game and yapping to her on the bench.
Guess I got to look into a good shotgun too...
Posts: 63 | Location: North New Jersey | Registered: July 10, 2004
