First, let me say that I'm actually okay with a little bit extra for the coaches' kids. So I'm talking about out and out, nepotism here. We've had some terrific "dad coaches" who would never give their kids special rights. But, this team was completely horrible! The coach & assistant put their sons on the same line all season, they played them 3+ minute shifts (to the others' 30-60 seconds) because people complained that they were getting to play every-other shift in the early season. They never had a weak player on their kids' line, they play 80% of the power plays (in their entirety, of course.) It looked like whenever there was a better scoring opportunity, they were out there. Also, important to mention, these two kids were middle of the offense talent & ability wise-there were 3 players that were way better players, and 4 that were a lot worse. When the better kids would score & assist, they'd be moved to D or had to sit out-- sometimes our team was losing when he did this! Also, if we were beating a team badly, they'd play their kids even more. (Once the coach's kid sat on the bench saying "I want a hat-trick, I want a hat-trick" when were up 10-0, and the guy kept putting his kid out there every-other shift. Meanwhile, the poor weak kids sat the bench. This would have been a great opportunity for them to get better and get some ice time!

So, here are the conversation starters--

* Uhhh, you Dad-coaches with this tendency are jerks, and yes, it is noticed!

* Are the stats really that important in youth hockey that adults are willing to treat kids like this so jr. can have numbers that beat out the better players?

* Hockey is WAY too expensive for an entire team to finance a big growth year of a couple kids. Because it was a travel team, the team even paid all this coach's expenses! Disgusting!

*What %age of Dad coaches are objective, vs those following their kid's personal agenda? (I'm thinking 80% are objective, what do you think?)

Your story sounds way too familiar! In all my years as a travel hockey parent, the coach's kid is usally one of the better players and is played fairly. This past year, however, our team had a coach exactly like you've described. The exception is that his kid was one of the most ineffective players on the team! In spite of his poor performance, both at practices (the ones he showed up for) and during games, this player started every game, was out for every penalty kill AND power play.

Of course the kids noticed and as a result, this poor coach's kid was not well liked.

Thankfully, I believe that most of the Dad coaches out there are not like this. For the bad ones, just remember that this is not doing your kid any favors. The rest of the team (not to mention the parents) know what type of coach you are and exactly what type of player your kid is!

Are you sure our kids didn't play on the same team?

I used to think this happened to my older boy because he just wasn't as good as the coaches kids. Until the year he got a coach who believed in fair play. As it turned out, my boy wasn't that bad after all. Now he plays Tier I Midget.

My little guy was placed on his team's second line this year and kept there throughout the season, despite the fact that he was not only the leading scorer but was also the leading assister. Though chosen as the MVP in tournaments by impartial evaluators on several occasions, he still was never first line material in the eyes of his coaches. Of course, their kids were

My view on this is that they aren't doing their kids a favor. My boys know that they have control of what they accomplish and that they earn everything they get. Sadly, the coaches kids who receive the type of favoritism you describe won't have learned this important lesson and I believe it will have a negative effect in the long run both on their hockey and everything else they do in life.

hmmm, I'm not sure if I'm comforted and feel less lonely in the fact that others have experienced exactly what we have.... or is it just plain sick that this type of thing is happening this often! I've seen it in other sports as well, but it does not seem as frequent or blatent as in hockey.

It looks like I will be the new Mite Travel team coach this year in 2010 to 2011. This will be defaulted to me because I'll be about the only coach with a coaching certificate with a kid this age. For some reason, there are not a lot of parents that can skate in this age group. I ton last year but they are all moving up to squirts and a ton with kids that are under 5. My child will be one of the better players on the team but that doesn't mean he should get more ice time. We have a small organization and I might get lucky to have 10 families that are willing to travel several hrs away to play one or two games a weekend, once or twice a month. My plan is to play all the kids as equally as possible and make the 2 lines as equal as possible. At this age it should be more about fun. Yes its fun to win but if 5 players play 2/3 of the game and the other 5 play 1/3 its not much fun for the 5 kids or the parents of those kids that didn't play much. The kid that isn't that good now might be the best player several years from now, but if he doesn't play much, he might loose interest. I think this happens to a lot of kids at too early of an age.

Thanks Hook, you are a breath of fresh air!

I'm lucky. My son's coach has 2 sons on the team. Both are extraordinary players. One is the obvious leader of the team (to anyone watching from the outside), yet his dad didn't make him a captain to avoid perceptions of nepotism. This coach rolls the lines. No one seems to get extra ice time.

So, how's the nepotism out there this season folks?